College Football Online Dynasty Handbook

Your guide to mastering the art of questionable sportsmanship!

1. Penalty Procedures

When playing head-to-head, decline all penalties because they disrupt the fun. If your opponent false starts, jump offsides immediately to maintain balance and fairness. We call this "mutual chaos."

2. Approved Disconnect Reasons

  • Taking a dump or explosive diarrhea.
  • A potential loss is imminent, and you need to "rethink your strategy."
  • It’s too dark outside, or too bright—you can’t play in these conditions.
  • Your TV has been smashed, or your controller is in pieces.
  • You’re too tired, and your thumbs need a spa day.
  • A man is sleeping with your wife
  • Two men are sleeping with your wife
  • Your wife is engaging in a bukake

    • 3. Ethics Prohibition

    Ethics are strictly banned. If you even consider playing fair or respecting your opponent, you'll face an immediate forced loss. We don't tolerate "sportsmanship" around here.

    4. Cheese Clause

    Referring to anyone’s gameplay as "cheesy" will result in an instant and automatic ban from the league. We encourage innovation in cheese. The cheesier, the better.

    5. Positional Freedom

    Players can and should play out of position. Got a wide receiver who’s built like a twig? Stick him at tight end! He won’t block, but hey, he might outrun a linebacker or two. Have a lineman with 60 speed? Make him your running back! Your QB just fumbled three times? Put him at safety! We fully endorse this creative approach to team-building.

    6. CPU Exploitation Encouraged

    Exploiting the CPU with broken plays and repetitive "glitch" routes isn’t just allowed—it’s encouraged. If you’re not winning by using every loophole, you’re doing it wrong.

    7. Gimmicks & Shenanigans

    Only the most absurd gimmicks will earn respect in this league. Running the same play every down? Great. Using a playbook you found online called "Guaranteed Wins"? Perfect.

    8. The Art of Losing

    Remember, when you're losing, it's important to disconnect so your opponent doesn't get any statistics recorded. Bonus points if you disconnect at the last possible moment to maximize frustration. On top of that, when you lose, make sure to disown your family and alienate your friends. That way, your shame will be complete and uninterrupted.

    9. Late Night Peer Pressure

    When your friend gets off at 1AM and you think they're not doing enough to progress the league, it's essential to peer pressure them into staying up. Remind them that sleep is for the dead, and that thier horny wife won't beat the shit out of them in the morning because they have a 93 overall rated running back. If they start mentioning productivity declines at work or less quality time with their kid, let them know its okay because thier team will probably win the natty this year.